DiHard Podcast

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1,394 notes &

Find strength in your future self. That person has already done all this work and they are waiting for you to arrive. In twenty-four hours, in a week, in a year, you will be that person, and you’ll be looking forward, not backward.

Nicholas Petricca
favorite words from one of my favorite humans. (via darksidedly)

(Time for me to get to work….)

(via beecretkeeper)

3 notes &

lydia69:

Some people are scare to face the realization that life is meaningless and pointless.  But there is freedom in that knowledge.  There isn’t some magical ledger somewhere that has the days of your life all written out neatly.  You aren’t here on earth to follow some script written for you.  You are given the ultimate gift of time.  You can fill this time with whatever you want to fill it with! The point is not to take this gift for granted.  Don’t listen to the naysayers who say that you are too old, female, male, young, not the right race, not the right sexual orientation, not smart enough, etc.  Be mindful of the how you fill your time.  Fill it such that it brings you joy.  Takes risks for even if you fail, that failure will give you the gift of knowledge.  The tiny saxophonist in the front center, that’s me.  I’m 45 years old and I’m about to start my 7th year in the URI Ram Marching Band.  if you look at our half time shows, the only way you’d be able to spot me is by my pink saxophone.  Finally, embrace the finality and pointless of life for it gives you the freedom to create your own life and not live by anyone’s standards.

lydia69:

Some people are scare to face the realization that life is meaningless and pointless.  But there is freedom in that knowledge.  There isn’t some magical ledger somewhere that has the days of your life all written out neatly.  You aren’t here on earth to follow some script written for you.  You are given the ultimate gift of time.  You can fill this time with whatever you want to fill it with! The point is not to take this gift for granted.  Don’t listen to the naysayers who say that you are too old, female, male, young, not the right race, not the right sexual orientation, not smart enough, etc.  Be mindful of the how you fill your time.  Fill it such that it brings you joy.  Takes risks for even if you fail, that failure will give you the gift of knowledge.  The tiny saxophonist in the front center, that’s me.  I’m 45 years old and I’m about to start my 7th year in the URI Ram Marching Band.  if you look at our half time shows, the only way you’d be able to spot me is by my pink saxophone.  Finally, embrace the finality and pointless of life for it gives you the freedom to create your own life and not live by anyone’s standards.

1,802 notes &

Normally, in anything I do, I’m fairly miserable. I do it, and I get grumpy because there is a huge, vast gulf, this aching disparity, between the platonic ideal of the project that was living in my head, and the small, sad, wizened, shaking, squeaking thing that I actually produce.
― Neil Gaiman (via psych-quotes)

(via psych-quotes)

0 notes &

Caution: contains major self pity

I’m trying really hard to remain positive, hopeful, and upbeat. People are drawn to positive but repulsed by negative self pity. Right now I’m battling the feeling of just wanting digging a hole somewhere and burring myself in it.

Honestly things aren’t bad but they aren’t as great as pretend them to be. It’s been 3 years since I got my masters degree yet I feel no sense if accomplishment.

The major source of my disappointment is this whole Nerdist thing. I know I’m just a “fan” but maybe after all this time and effort I’d be a bit more? I know buying tickets to all three shows doesn’t make me special or deserving of anything. But I really hated not getting a hug. He sent me a virtual hug. But the whole thing cemented my feelings of unimportance. I know this is all me and not at all from him. Daymit. I had a cool cosplay concept and not one picture with him!

Then there was the whole thanks for your support but we are good with writers (Nerdist.com). Guess my writing sucked or they would have asked me. I hate the way I was just pushed out. My articles are still around but not my name. Could I at least get my name back on my articles?

On the flip side he knows my name and I’ve had more interactions with him than almost any fan. I am grateful for every picture, hug, signing,and highfive.

Then there is the issue of my plunging podcast numbers. I know I do it because I love it. But steady or increasing numbers means I’m doing something right? Sigh.

My work is slowly killing me. I takes every ounce of mental energy yet I get no satisfaction out of it. I love interviewing for new consultants and talking to the student consultants. I also like my fellow full time employees.

I work out 3-4 times a week with a trainer yet my weight remains at 190 or above. I’ve changed my eating habits. I limit sugar and if I have cheese it’s a single stick. I’m constant pain from my back issues or sore from working out. I’m also spending $200/month for the trainer. Good thing the gym is only $15/month.

I’m afraid that the new “But It’s Midnight Somewhere” project will be a flop. I’m afraid that I’ll have problems getting people to show or submit ideas for games. If on the off chance it’s successful I’m afraid of a cease and desist letter from Funny or Die, Comedy Central and Nerdist Industries. It will be from CH and very nicely worded. Or maybe be made fun of/celebrated on atmidnightcc?

So the easy thing would be to give up. No one cares. Why really bother. But that’s not really constructive.

So I’ll continue the pod. I’ll write more for Nertitans. Bentley Michaels has helped me a great deal. I’m also really happy about the new spillway.ca site. I need to be more active there. I’m excited about marching band. It’s tough to focus on the positive.

I always try to bring joy to other people’s life because I feel mine is a series if major disappointments. The trick is to be satisfied with the way things unfold. I’m still sad. But I’ll work my way out of it.

Disclaimer Everyone associated with Nerdist Industries are super cool and really nice. CHard (he wants to be called that) is the nicest public persona of just about anyone in the public eye. But he must be a great person in private to have so many great people around him? I just wish I were in that group.

0 notes &

Sadness

I’m really sad that I was forgotten when nerdist.com picked new writers. I guess they really didn’t like what I did.  What makes things sting more is that some of the items I would have suggested but were always rejected.

I’ll get over it but I’m really sad.

23 notes &

for adonis from v.

venusetadonis:

How do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day’s

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I…